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When We Won’t Need Traffic Managers

In a world where jobs open on vocal command like the door to Ali Baba’s cave, and where accurate estimates appear magically from the ether, we won’t need traffic managers.

In a world where traffic software can distinguish between salient information and pure balderdash, and then enter only the salient information, we won’t need traffic managers.

In a world where electronic traffic systems have feet and can think on them… and have eyes to keep on the ball, ensuring timely and on-budget delivery despite daily personnel meltdowns, we won’t need traffic managers.

In a world where account people and creatives hug and selflessly embrace the interests of others over their own, we won’t need traffic managers.

In a world where traffic software has mastered the art of constructive conversation, and wherein kilobytes can deal with the drama of working in an environment spider-webbed with passion, we won’t need traffic managers.

In a world where programs dream constantly about ways to make things run more smoothly, we won’t need traffic managers.

In a world where the traffic program knows that the apparent absence of a left brain means a particular art director must be dogged to meet deadlines… and where the traffic program can empathize with a copywriter whose off-the-charts emotional quotient enables him to produce work that kicks butt but also hinders him from dealing rationally with pressures others might consider normal, we won’t need a traffic manager.

In a world where all stress has been engineered out of the work environment, and where millennials are as good at managing their time as they are at texting with their thumbs, we won’t need traffic managers.

In a world where a software solution can ride roughshod over the freelancer who runs three hours of errands at lunchtime and vendors who bring Krispy Kreme donuts way too often, we won’t need traffic managers.

In a world where the human qualities of nuance and finesse are no longer needed, we won’t need traffic managers.

When the moon is in the Seventh House, Jupiter aligns with Mars, peace is guiding the planets, love is steering the stars and pigs can fly, we won’t need traffic managers.

Editor’s note: when the author accepted this assignment he had just seen the movie “In A World...,” a romantic comedy about a struggling vocal coach who strikes it big in the cutthroat world of movie-trailer voiceovers.  He asks that you consider reading this piece aloud, in your best Don LaFontaine voice, at Monday morning’s traffic meeting.

George Fuller is a freelance copywriter based in Tampa, Florida and a member of The Answer Group, a team of independent, on-demand creatives who work with Second Wind member agencies as they need creative assistance.  Email him at george@georgefullerthethird.com

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